Curiosity killers
Dr. Bruce Perry, Trammell Research Professor of Child Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, has a new article on something that can drive us parents
crazy -- curiosity.He says, "for too many children, curiosity fades. Curiosity dimmed is a future denied. Our potential — emotional, social, and cognitive — is expressed through the quantity and quality of our experiences. And the less-curious child will make fewer new friends, join fewer social groups, read fewer books, and take fewer hikes. The less-curious child is harder to teach because he is harder to inspire, enthuse, and motivate. "
We parents can limit or kill our kid's curiosity in three ways:
Fear: "Fear kills curiosity."
Disapproval: "Don’t. Don’t. Don’t."
Absence: Kids need "the presence of a caring, invested adult…"
He concludes that without curiosity our children will not complete the cycle to mastery, confidence, self-esteem, and security. All of which are key values every parent tries to instill into his or her child.
Read Dr Perry's complete article at
http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/curiosity.htm
Dr. Jane's Comment:
Curiosity is the fuel behind a child's exploration and future successes, however, we modern day parents are frequently too tired for curiosity.
We are too tired to attend to our children's questions
"why is the sky blue, where do babies come from, why do lights come on at dark, why can't I see angels?"Or we are too tired to clean up mess number
200 for the day, so we keep our kids activities overly limited or we encourage electronic games that won't make a mess.Lastly, we are busy. Too busy to play because we must work to pay bills, buy food, pay the rent. We are busy going to games, practices, school events, buying diapers, and just surviving. Curiosity just does not fit into our modern parenting equation.
Another reality is
fear. Our fears and the world's fears creep into our children's brain's too early and too often whether it is a fearful parent previously victimized or a community torn apart by violence.So what are Christian parents to do with curiosity? Encourage it with a balance of responsibility.
We can lean down our responsibilities so that we are not so tired. We can change the way we spend money so that we do not have to work as much. We can limit the number of activities in which our kids are involved, so that we have more unscheduled time. We can work on our internal fears of victimization by allowing the Lord to heal our hurts. We can trust God with our safety, so that we do not fear our communities.
Why is this curiosity so important, why should we make such efforts to help it blossom?
Because without curiosity we can not dive deeper into The Word to answer our burning faith questions. Without curiosity, we won't cross-reference a teacher's lessons to ensure Biblical accuracy. Without curiosity, we will not pursue the unseen God. Without curiosity we won't look at nature and ponder the Maker. Without curiosity, we don't compare what is taught in the world Vs the Lord's Word.So what about balancing curiosity with responsibility.
As your child grows, always temper curiosity with responsibility. An individual's curiosity should not supplant God's laws. For instance, "I wonder what Daddy's electric shaver will do to the carpet?" Children must learn that curiosity takes a back seat to honoring father/mother, not cheating, not stealing, and not lying.In short support curiosity, but balance it with obedience to God. This way you will have an inquiring, confident child that submits his/her desires to God's will, instead of creating a meddler.
Curiosity starters: Read Job 38 and 39 with your kids to show them all the things they can be curious about and to see how GREAT our God truly is ("Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?… who shut in the sea with doors… have you commanded the morning since your days began, ... where is the way to the dwelling of light?").
Psalm 75:1 We give thanks to You O god, we give thanks! For Your wondrous works declare that Your name is near.