The American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Early Childhood, Adoption, and Dependent Care wrote in January 2001 issue of Pediatrics that we have had changes in family structures and community supports. For instance,

In 1960, 5% of births were from unwed mommies

In 1995, 32% of births were from unwed mommies

25% of kids growing up this decade will experience divorced families

1/3 of remarried families divorce

61% of kids live with both biological parents

65% of mommies with preschoolers are in the work force

The average household has 5.2 credit cards

They listed types of community supports that are needed to help families get back on their feet and help them when they fall down. Here are the goals for such support programs:

1. Primary responsibility for the development and well being of children lies within the family.
2. Families are part of a community and support should be provided in the context of community life and through links with community resources.
3. Social support for parents with young children serves to prevent behavioral problems, enrich the children's development, and help parents develop the maturity required to raise children.
4. The kinds of support provided should be determined by the needs and interests of the parents. Although participation should be voluntary it should be encouraged in the high-risk situations, including abuse and neglect. Suspected or substantiated abuse and neglect warrant mandatory reporting and services as appropriate.
5. Support offered by friends, neighbors, and community-based resources is as vital as access to professional support services.
6. The support given should enhance the strengths found within the family unit among family members.
7. The aim of support is to strengthen the family unit and the community while preventing alienation and family dysfunction.

Those statistics say a lot, but the loudest thing they do say is families need help doing what we should do best -- raising the next generation -- but over the past 20-30 years it has become what we do worst. I don't say this to be accusing or to get personal, it is just fact.

We Americans are pulled, no torn, apart by life today. Whether we are two parent, single parent, grand parent, adoptive or foster parents. Our families are a high priority, but there is little time left for them after we work, pay bills, divorce, remarry, deal with our past, talk with the teacher, look in the mirror, yell at the dog, go to the gym, remember your friend's birthday, and read about global warming. Oh yes and don't forget about prayer, fellowship, bible study, tithing, evangelism, and ministry to the Body of Christ. I am tired just thinking of these things.

We need help, not judgement. We need equipping for life's challenges, not someone's bony finger pointing at us. This is the Church's chance. The door is wide open WILL WE INVITE JESUS INTO THE BOAT and immediately be at our destination? Our destination -- healing of our families, relief of our burdens, joy in the journey, and ultimately healing of our communities through Christ.

Here is the challenge. Copy and print the seven goals for community support programs. Pray about these goals. Can you be part of the answer? Do you know someone who can help? Then take them to your church leaders. Ask them to pray about them. Can your church help in any of these goals? Can they be part of the answer that opens the church doors to hurting families and lets them see JESUS in action in our lives.

I am taking them to my church, city, and state leadership because it is time we start valuing AND equipping parents, giving them what they need, not what we want them to have.

Families need to be stronger after help, not more dependent.

Families need to be more involved after help, not more isolated.

Families need to be stronger in Christ after being involved with Christians, not left cold by our apathy.