Parent Healers

The listening healer in the history of psychological healing, American Journal Psychiatry, 1992; 149.

SW Jackson of Yale University looked at listening skills as the tools of healers. Below are direct quote excerpts from the article.

"Over the centuries, listening has been a crucial aspect of the various endeavors undertaken by healers in the interest of acquiring information from, achieving understanding of, and bringing about healing effects for sufferers. Yet, it has been vision rather than hearing that has been emphasized in knowing and understanding, and looking rather than listening that has been emphasized in healing endeavors. … The place of listening in depth and with empathy is a crucial element in healing. While the emphasis on looking remains significant in the gathering and appraisal of data, at times it threatens to overwhelm the need for an attentive and concerned listener… A healer that neglects either one at his or her peril -- and at the peril of his or her patients."

 

Dr. Jane's Commentary

So some of you are asking, "what in the world is Dr. Jane doing now?" Well, I am not trying to make you all psychiatrists, but I do think it is time to share some "professional" tips and open your eyes to a new role in parenting -- the role of parent healer.

This holiday season I have been catching up on reading and thinking about the state of families. I am convinced that we families do not listen, really listen as well as we could or should to each other. The above quotes from the "listening" article can be difficult to understand. So, let me pull out a few truths. The great healers of old and present do so by listening. The steps in good listening are 1) gathering information, 2) understanding this information, and 3) finding healing by using gathered information. But first we have to notice there is a problem, that's the looking part.

So how do we do this looking and listening? It takes time of course to develop it, but you can get a crash course with the help of the Holy Spirit. Ultimately we must first listen to Him. We must learn to hear His quiet voice, "hey, your kid needs you today." "Does your child look blue today? Let's find out why." Little phrases like that can save you many a heart ache if you listen to them.

So how do you become an "attentive and concerned" listener? By falling in love with Jesus, who then puts an unquenchable love for Him and for your children in your heart. This will motivate you to listen with empathetic ears.

I pray this year you will consider this one of your top resolutions -- to be a parent healer by becoming a Godly listener.